Learn English Lesson #15 (Read + Speak + Study Questions)

Jesse James and Sandra Bullock: We've Moved On Today's breaking news: Sandra Bullock and Jesse James are not going to continue their relationship. The two ex-lovebirds failed in their mating ritual just as Ms. Bullock must adopt her 8-month old son. This is great news for Jesse who is now free to enter into other frivolous mating rituals with women, producing a large number of offspring. The world is biting fingernails and clicking refresh on the news page just waiting to see Mr. James' next woman. "I really think Jesse will find his true love," said Jackie Martin, a delusional crack addict who lives outside the abandoned warehouse on 5th street. "It's always beautiful when a man meets a woman," noted Tim Johnson McDoogle, a local welfare recipient. "After I cash my cheque, I head straight to the liquor store to buy a 40 and some magazines to see which celebrities are in love." We are saddened to note the passing of Mr. Johnson McDoogle 1 hour after our interview. He passed out while drinking on the railroad tracks and was hit by a train. This is the fourth train death in the past week, all from the McDoogle family. Our condolences go out to the remaining family members. A funeral service will be held on the railroad tracks for family members. Open bar is limited to $40 per person, BYOB. Questions: Who deeply cares about Jesse James and Sandra Bullock? What happened on the railroad tracks? What life lessons can we learn from this passage?